An Imaginary Meeting of the HRE Committee

By Andy Foskey, Atlanta, GA

"Oh!  I have a splendid idea!   Let us celebrate the long-held 
Asian tradition of FRIED RICE!   Oh, what a joyous occasion it 
will be!  We could hold a dance in honor of it!  What a better 
way to bring into light the staple food of an entire continent!
"And better yet, everyone knows that the tsunami is something 
we should honor!  Sure it may bring havoc to the 
people of Japan, causing mass destruction, but maybe we 
could turn that around and make it a happy thing!  

"And wait, don't they have dolls in China?  Well, hell!  
Lets take a Westernized ideal of Asian beauty and 
exploit it by naming our drag show after it!  I can see 
it now, a vast sea of drag queens, all with chopsticks 
in their hair, and eye makeup to make it look like they 
have "asian" eyes!  Don't forget your Japanese fans, ladies!  

"Oh, and for our "Who's got the most perfect body contest" we 
can honor the Japanese tradition of the Shogun!  Because 
everyone knows that the Japanese really like big muscles 
and tan skin!   

"We could even get some of that "oh-so-authentic" gong 
music for our website!  I'm sure all of this will make 
Asian-Americans feel included and honored!  
I can't wait!"